Out of my mind. Back in five minutes
All things being equal, fat people use more soap
Always tell the truth, even when you lie
A coward dies a thousand deaths, a soldier just dies the once
Every year more than 2500 left handed people are killed from using right handed products
Gold-Lust!
I love cats...they taste just like chicken
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't
Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool
Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.
Earn easy cash in your spare time by blackmailing friends
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen
Sarcasm is just one more service I offer
The higher you are, the farther you fall
Dont steal, the government hates competition
Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems!
Excerceise and Diet... But you still Die
I fear no man, I've got a gun
MySpaceBarIsBroken!!
Be nice to your kids, they choose your nursing home
Save water, Drink beer
Underground yet mainstream like Saddam Hussain
IS it just me, or do monkeys taste like fish?
I came, I saw, I drank, I forgot
War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left
I bent my wookie
Don't you think that reading nicknames is a waste of time?
-={Rule Breaker}=-
[Large and in charge]
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Working is for people who don't know how to fish
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
He who laughs last thinks slowest
There are many many ways of keeping fools occupied, one way is to use really long pointless nicknames
==HellRaiser==
Avoid hangovers by staying drunk
My imaginary friend thinks your crazy
Yesterday it worked, today it doesnt. Microsoft Windows is like that
Reality is the only obstacle to happiness!
-Your still ugly, Pass me another beer-
A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey's monkey
Everytime I see ur face. I wish I was in outer space :P
(*)Theres always a light at the end of a tunnel, just pray its not a train(*)
I'm not lazy, I'm just happy doing nothing
× nEvEr × wAnTeD× To Be × DiFFeReNt × I jUsT× wAnTeD ×To Be × mE ×
[One by one the penguins steal my sanity]
I'm not smiling at you, I'm just trying not to laugh. :)
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it
IM THINKING.... BUT NOTHINGS HAPPENING!
I'm not handicaped, I'm just LAZY!
I sat back looking at the stars and began to think.. where the HECK is my roof?!
There's a *NEW* Mexico?!?
I'm telling you ociffer, I'm not drunk!
Dain Bramaged
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
I love cats...they taste just like chicken
>> I am nobody, no body is perfect, therefore i am perfect! ;)
Reality: An illusion due to lack of alcohol
[Roses are red, Violets Are blue, When god gave brains, Where the hell where you :|]
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them
[When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you]
-=Hard work pays off later, laziness pays off now!!=-
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance!
[I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!]
Dont steal, the government hates competition!
Yes.. It was I who let the dogs out!
Don't drink and drive, you could spill the drink in your car!
[2 + 2 = 5] for extremely large values of 2
My cat's name is mittens!
Roses r red Violets r blue God made me beautiful But what the hell did he do to you!
Act your age, not your shoe size!
God created man first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece!
~*~What happens if you get scared half to death 2 timez?~*~
Dig a lil hole Planet a lil seed Grow a lil tree Smoke a lil weed
You cant have everything, Where would u put it?
You were so cute as a baby... what happened?!?
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception
Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!
I'm knot dumb!
My door is always open so feel free to leave
This DOG is a good DOG way DOG to keep an fool DOG busy DOG. Read this again without DOG
Be selfish just once... If your upset, take someone elses life instead of your own!
I thought that I could love no other. Until, that is, I met ur brother!
I love ur smile and ur eyes...Damn im good at telling lies! :D
I'd Get Up And Do Something With Myself, But I'd Rather Stay In Bed!
:) My darling my love, my beautiful wife. Marrying you screwed up my life :S
Why do our noses run and our feet smell?!?!
Those are my principles. If you don't like them... I have others
You may be only young once, but you can be immature forever!
I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder!
Hate: A special kind of love given to people who suck
(8)roll roll roll ur joint, gently down the line, take a toke, inhale dat smoke, and blow ur friggin mind!(8)
Damn right I'm good in bed i can sleep for hours!
Now that I have a gun...u may run or hide :P
Knowledge Is Knowing That A Tomato Is A Fruit, Wisdom Is Not Putting It In A Fruit Salad
God made elfs God made deers God made u such a queer
Im not crazy, ask mr bunny and mrs dodo here
If u want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen
In jail u get food, in jail u get tea, in jail u get anything butt... the KEY!
I have a picture of u, I think its very nice, I put it under my bed... 2 scare away the mice!
I tought u were crazy, now i c ur nuts!
DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF!
Life's a game. FISHING IS SERIOUS!
Be kool.. Dont go to school :D
Silence is Golden.. But Shouting IS fun!
It Worries Me How Dumb You Are
Roll roll roll your joint, twist down the end, take a puff thats enough, pass it to a friend!
I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it!
Women Drivers = NO SURVIVORS
(Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough.
-=Hard work pays off later, laziness pays off now!!=-
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence? I think not
Act your age, not your penis size!
An answer to that nagging question............... I let the dogs out!
Beer: helping ugly people get laid since 1823
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss
I invented the cordless extension cord
I may not be fred flinstone but I can still make your bedrock
I wish i was Barbie...that bitch has everything!
I'm fat, but your ugly. I can diet
If guys had their period, they'd probably brag about the size of our tampons
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten
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